Recap: How to Find Your People at Steadfast Supply
Last week Theresa and I led a new workshop at Steadfast Supply in Navy Yard centered around how to find your people!
If you've even been new to a city, or are just past your early 20s, you probably know what it feels like to have a hard time making friends...or simply have a hard time finding time to hangout with people you really love. Maybe they are in a different city. Maybe they are married. Maybe they are just way too into their jobs. Whatever the case, we wanted to help.
Our workshop started with, you guessed it, cocktails. We had Hemingway Daiquiris featuring Cotton and Reed's white rum. Cotton and Reed is a local distillery and we love their liquors, as well as their space in Union Market.
Then we dove in. We did a series of brainstorming exercise around these questions:
- Who is your favorite person?
- What type of people do you want to bring into your life?
- Where are these people hanging out? What are they doing? How would you run into them?
- What can you do to get yourself in the right place to find these people?
We shared our ideas and came to find that many of us named a loved one as our 'favorite person'. For example, my favorite person is my Grandpa. He has an amazing personality and persistent optimism that has been a great example of how to lead my life. He always says he's not worried (about me) and to do whatever it is I love doing. His unwavering faith in me has pushed me to be the person I am today. He also has a larger than life charisma that touches everyone. The family joke is that everyone knows Grandpa, and it's true. And everyone loves Grandpa.
Other participants named their moms, aunts, and grandmas as their favorite people. I thought it was interesting that we look up so much to the people that raised us (my grandpa had a big part in raising me), even when we know they aren't perfect. We're all very lucky to have these role models in our life. Oh! And Dolly Parton! That was someone's favorite person, in addition to a family member--celebrities were allowed!
We also had commonalities in the types of people we wanted to bring into our lives. We were interested in travel buddies, dinner buddies, game night friends and friends able to have impromptu hang out time.
When we shared how we might find these people, we came up with social media, blog events, workshops (like this one!), things we are interested in learning or exploring, and things outside of our areas of interest to push ourselves into new territory, and meet new people. The key with all of these ideas is to actually reach out, sign up, and show up. Just browsing isn't enough, you have to actually get up and meet someone or go somewhere.
Our action plans to connect who we want in our lives and where we might find them included these ideas:
- REACH OUT to acquaintances and friends -- how many of us just kinda expect others to do the work in maintaining a relationship? If you haven't texted/called a friend in weeks - that's on you! Reach out! Good friends will reciprocate sooner or later.
- TALK TO YOUR NEIGHBORS -- we all wished we knew our neighbors and could invite them over for wine or dinner without feeling like a creep. Because many of us probably don't even see our neighbors, this might seem hard. Maybe ask your building manager to plan an event and invite all your neighbors - or just put together an event yourself. Pretend you just moved in - no one will know.
- INTRODUCE YOURSELF AT YOGA/ETC -- We all seemed to share the same experience: going to a yoga class. Talking to no one. Leaving. Having a great class but wishing we had known someone's name. I really wish more yoga teachers led a little introduction - even just pair introductions would be nice! But you can do it yourself - next time you are in a workout class turn to the person next to you and say 'Hi, I'm _______'. Stick out your hand if it isn't sweaty. They will either ignore you or say 'Hi, Im _______'. Worst case scenario you are back where you started - knowing no one.
- GO SOLO -- I know, I know, it is much easier to meet someone new if you have a buddy with you at the event/party/workshop/etc. But, as someone who has gone to many a show alone, I promise you if you go alone no one will laugh you out of the party. And if they do they have serious issues. Next time you see something on your calendar and your friend bails or you don't have anyone else that wants to join - just go by yourself. Wear some bright lipstick. Wear your favorite outfit. Go and talk to someone. You have to talk to someone or else it won't work. 9 times out of 10 when I do this I meet really cool people and have an awesome time. Maybe 1 time out of 10 I go home crying in a cab because I feel stupid or lonely. But, hey, we've all been there. And all experiences are much better than rewatching something on Netflix.
Once we had our mindset straight and some action plans put together, we started working on our vision boards. It was important that we knew what we wanted to bring into our lives and had a plan to do so before we started so that our thoughts would determine what was on our boards, and not the other way around.
My board was teal and bright, with a palm tree (because sometimes I gotta chill!) and a pretty cut out of someone who looks like all my fabulous friends, some guiding text and a 'what's next' because I'm going through some big moves right now and I need to stay grounded via my friendships and family. The ring? My friend just got married so she added that. Hey, if I land a man and a rock too, I won't complain.
So what about you?
Who are you looking to bring into your life? What can you do to make it happen?
Want to lead your own workshop? Check out our Kit below with what we used to run this workshop.
In DC? Sign up for our next workshop here!