From My Archive: The Social Network

I am working on a new blog post about a recent book I read, “Cartucho” by Nellie Campobello. It is taking some time and I need to get back to my studio work, but in the meantime I wanted to share this blog post I wrote ten years ago. It’s an unedited repost. It’s funny and strangely I feel exactly the same today.

This is part of a project of mine to revisit my own writings from various blogs and journals I’ve kept over the years in an effort to learn more about myself and hopefully find themes to push and further develop my art writing practice.

I've drunk sunshine with my hair

The Social Network

Posted in ridiculousness, writing by Stephanie on October 6, 2010

Remember way back in the fall of 2004 (earlier, for you Ivy league folks, later for those of you over 25) when there was no Facebook. No status updates, no tags, no likes, no rsvps to things you will never attend. No friend requests from elementary school crushes.

I do. I remember joining shortly after I moved away from home to a big city with no friends or acquaintances. One of my first friends was probably another USC student with whom I had gone to an Incubus concert. I had invited him after meeting during orientation the summer before school started. I literally knew no one else (he also had a car and I did not). Quickly, I made more friends, online and off, and my social network blossomed. I could look up a class and see other friends in that class. I could find out who else liked The Mars Volta, who else loved Prince. I could put obscure movie quotes in my status update and other kids (also in that obscure film class) would think I was cool.

I could also stalk people. This was easy because I don’t remember there being much privacy in the beginning. Or, having any reason to research how to use it if it did exist. I could see who was friends with so-and-so and if someone was in a relationship, who grew up where and where someone studied abroad. These things were helpful, but I don’t know that any of this greatly affected my ability to make friends, and it certainly didn’t really enhance friendship cultivation. It was just another way to meet people and ‘stay in touch’. Another tool in a well equipped toolbox, along with cell phones, email, blogs, websites, instant messaging, etc.

I remember meeting people out of University and seeing their social network blossom online. I remember people complaining about the uselessness of Facebook because they already had a MySpace account. I remember those same people eventually ‘switching over’. I remember aspiring musicians annoyed at having to maintain both.

I remember what an uproar everyone (meaning us university students) was in when Facebook started letting people in High School join. I remember how no one really made a fuss when, slowly, Facebook was opened up to everyone on the planet.

I remember, while teaching English in a small coastal town in Spain, a 60-year-old woman asking me to explain Facebook to her. I did. She asked me if she needed it. I said, Do you have a social network? She said, Yes. I said, How do you communicate with people in that social network? She said, We talk on the phone quite often and email each other. I said, Well then, no.

Facebook is like deodorant (yes, this has been a status update of mine). It is a created solution for a made-up problem. The problems being numerous: staying in touch, being able to share photographs of that vacation you took, sharing a newborn with family members abroad, telling everyone about your latest blog post, letting people know how amazing your life is and how busy you are, etc. Let’s not forget making sure everyone is aware of what you ate for dinner last night (recent favorite ‘putting the manicotti in the fridge for Jersey Shore’).

And yes, there are infinite reasons why Facebook is amazing. It is cool to be able to share things with people that may not otherwise be able to be that involved with your life, be it lack of time or distance (or interest). It is a great way to meet someone you may not otherwise meet. I’ve definitely utilized it to make new friends, one of which I know for a fact I would have never met ‘in real life’ and really cannot imagine not having as a best friend now.

Yet, I personally would much rather sit down with my friends and watch a slideshow/movie of their vacation in New Zealand, complete with a soundtrack and commentary from my friend sitting next to me. This isn’t always possible. I know firsthand how hard it is to maintain relationships when you are really far away from everyone you know. But I also know that having hundreds of vestiges of inactive relationships really doesn’t make you feel any less lonely when you are living in a foreign country. And sometimes a long distance phone call or a handwritten letter is all you need to feel connected again.

But this is just me. Everyone is different. And there are plenty of ways to customize your Facebook experience (can you imagine reading this sentence five years ago, seriously). You can delete people from your status update home page (which, let me tell you, will change your life). You can block people, you can block only certain people from certain parts of your profile, you can keep a lot of things totally private, you can just not log on everyday (or every hour). You can not accept a friend request form that person you don’t really know (or like). Lately, I’ve noticed in myself, that all of these things are a real hassle. Weeding through my Facebook friends is like going through a wild adventure of the last few years of my life. It’s like going through those emails that are saved on you email server (who is that again?), but much, much worse.

Does Facebook maintain relationships? Does it help build communities? Does it encourage mutual understanding? Does it inform people? Does it help sell mass media products? Does it let you feel less lonely? Does it enhance your life? Does it entertain you? I hope so. Because if not, we (all 5 million+ of us) are spending a whole lot of time doing a whole lot of nothing.

This, of course, is perfectly fine. We are in need of some heavy distraction, with the world literally falling apart. But don’t worry, someone else (maybe even you!) will keep climate change at bay, create world peace, stop genocide, re-organize modern agriculture, vote, create art, perform research, fight the copy fight, brainstorm immigration reform, write long form books, contemplate the stars, find you a job, and maybe even if you are important enough to them, call you up on the telephone so you can go grab a drink. They are also probably on Facebook (or pay someone to maintain one for them) and able to utilize it much better than most of us.