Postpartum Survival Kit

1600 hours (and counting), Stoneware with glaze, 8 x 10.5 x 1 ¾ in, 2023. Artist is me, Stephanie Eche.

Originally written July 2022.

I'm writing this as my four-month old sleeps on me while nursing. We are very lucky as she has been sleeping through the night for over a month now, but her daytime naps are almost nonexistent. This means my husband and I both get sleep, but I, as the main caretaker, spend my days as a combination all-you-can-eat milk diner and pull-out sofa for our baby. I don't hate it, until 4pm comes around and I'm scream texting my husband for backup. The forth trimester has ended and I'm now in the what-do-we-do-now part of motherhood.

Like most career-driven women and first-time moms-to-be, I envisioned my self-imposed, unpaid maternity leave to be a kind of break. Not necessarily a relaxing vacation but closer to that than running a marathon. I now know it's more like being on a hamster wheel and not being able to stop because someone else's (your baby’s) life depends on it, with no alcohol. I'm realizing that this is the rest of my life, in the best way possible, though I'm hoping cocktails return to mine soon.

Besides the regular postpartum stuff, which you can google and research until your head explodes, I had my own share of the unexpected. I left the hospital in the middle of the night with a very tiny, almost premature baby, a very tired but new expert-at-swaddling husband, and unforeseen and unexplained health issues, some that I'm still dealing with today. This, I'm learning, is not that uncommon. The more time I spend as a mom the more mom secrets I learn.

In addition to adjusting to the care of an infant, breastfeeding, and wrapping my head around what the hell just happened, I was also managing my health via my new frenamie blood pressure monitor, various medications, and the stairs of our three-story house. I spent most of my fourth trimester in my bedroom, with increased visits to the living room, back deck, and coffee shop across the street as the weeks went on. I learned that the debilitating feelings I felt during pregnancy, when I was too tired or nauseous to do anything, were just training for the way I have felt postpartum. The need to pee every 20 minutes while pregnant was just a foreshadowing of feeding my baby on demand. The weird aches and pains of pregnancy were just a little taste of the post surgery healing and paranoia.

I cannot pretend to have any advice for other pregnant ladies, but I can share what has helped me get through the hardest, most unpredictable, and most amazing last few months. I've learned how to be flexible, how to truly rest, and how to let other people help me. I'm still working on asking for what I need and giving myself time, instead of using my time not caring for baby to research and continue thinking about baby. That's the thing about being a mom and an artist--once you become both you cannot neglect either. I am not yet having consistent, if any, studio time, but I am trying to believe that I will. And in the meantime, I'll be resting with my baby as long as I possibly can stand it.

REST

BE WITH BABY

EAT & HYDRATE

MOVE

COMMUNE

WARDROBE

Purge your clothes. Just pack away what you aren’t gonna wear so you can enjoy this special time where you can wear as little as possible and be comfy with your baby.

FOR YOU

  • Sketchbook

  • Mani pedi from your local favorite place

  • Dry bar blow out

  • Alone time

  • Therapy

CREATIVE LIVINGStephanie Echemotherhood